


Overreaction

by potato_post_community



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Big Brother Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne Feels, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, basically just a crisis, i just love an assassin boy, idk this fandom don't kill me thx, ok i admit he's pretty chill, oopsy!, oopsy! again, who am he??? damian doesn't know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 17:03:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21140162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potato_post_community/pseuds/potato_post_community
Summary: “What do you want to be?” Grayson asks, one cold, October afternoon.Damian’s pencil stills above the paper.Who does Damian want to be?





	Overreaction

“What do you want to be?” Grayson asks, one cold, October afternoon. 

Damian’s pencil stills above the paper. 

It’s just Damian and Richard in the room, Alfred- both the butler and the cat- out of sight and out of mind. Bruce is out as Batman, alone this time as Damian recovers from a sprained ankle and Grayson of a handful of bruised ribs and gashes. Even Titus is gone, possibly prowling around outside. 

This means he has time to think. Grayson doesn’t rush him when it comes to words. (As to actions, however…) What _ does _ Damian want to be? 

Who does Damian want to be? 

There’s a million answers to that. He could say, _ I want to be like my mother, _ or, _ I want to follow in my grandfather’s footsteps as he trained me to do. _ Grayson wouldn’t accept those answers. Father would be disappointed at them. He could say, _ I want to be the next Batman. I want to be just like Father, because that is what he would want me to be. _ Is that what they would want to hear? He could even say, _ I want to be top of my class, I suppose. _Would that be enough? 

(Really, Damian knows what- who- he wants to be. The only person that that answer would suffice for is him. Surely, it’s not a very good long term plan.) 

He trails off from his thoughts, forcing himself to put the pencil back onto the paper and continue. “I do not know,” he simply says, and finds himself tensing. That’s not going to be what Grayson wants to hear, surely. 

“There has to be something,” Grayson says, and his voice sounds confused. Damian doesn’t dare look up at him to see what’s on his face. 

Maybe what Richard is talking about is something simpler. Does he just want to know what profession Damian is interested in, to act as a cover-up for his nighttime job? In that case, possibly just saying, _ Taking over Father’s company, _ would be more than enough to please both Grayson and Father. Unless- Unless _ Grayson _ wants to take over Father’s company. It’d make sense- Grayson had much more claim over anything of Father’s than Damian even did. There’s no answer to that question that would satisfy Grandfather and Mother, however. Other than taking over Grandfather’s armies and legacies. 

Damian shakes his head, fighting the urge to bite his lip. “I really do not know, Grayson.” 

His older brother cracks a grin. “Why not Batman?” 

Because. To be Batman, Damian would have to be _ good _enough. He’d have to make sure that his brutal violent urges- Richard had always said that those things could be unlearned, that he could control them and erase what his mother had beat into him- could be contained, first. Batman didn’t- doesn’t kill. 

Damian is simply just not enough for the roll. 

But, Grayson- Grayson would be perfect for the roll, if Father ever did end up falling. Or dying. (The thought makes him shiver.) Grayson doesn’t have an instinct to _ kill. _He knows when to stop, when too far is too far. He can think ahead, plan things out without being brash and angry at everything the world has to offer. 

“Perhaps,” is all Damian can force out, from behind gritted teeth. 

“Don’t want to be the all-mighty bat?” Grayson jokes. Damian shakes his head, and tries to suppress the tremors that encase his hands. “You can be whatever you want to be, y’know. The possibilities are _ endless._” 

Damian rolls his eyes and bites out, “The sky is the limit, is it not?” 

Can Damian really _ be _ whatever he wants to be though? Shouldn’t there be something _ against _ that? He has to please someone in what he chooses. It’s not like it could all be up to him. This feels like a trick question, somehow, like Grayson _ wants _ Damian to slip up. If he says the wrong thing, Grayson could get upset- could get mad and rage at him because Damian isn’t the splitting picture of who Richard wants him to be. 

So, what does Grayson want him to be? Who? 

You know, Grayson might as well have asked, _ Who are you, _ instead of, _ what do you want to be. _ Can’t Damian just live in the moment? Focus on the next five minutes, what kind of person he’s going to _ be _ in those next five minutes. Is he going to be who Grayson wants him to be? Who Father wants? Who Grandfather and Mother wants. Who _ he_\- 

For some reason, his eyes begin to sting. 

Damian knows who he wants to be- He just wants to _ be _ who he wants to be. Is that too much to ask? The future can wait, for all he cares. He doesn’t need to know that yet. He can figure it out when he understands just what it is that Father and Grayson want. 

The world goes a little blurry, under a thin film of water that glazes over his eyes. 

There’s one thing that he knows that he is not. Damian Wayne is not a crier. He’s not a crybaby, he doesn’t just shed tears. Tears are a sign of weakness- something that Mother had screeched at him for, something that Grandfather had belittled him for. Now, though, he can’t just seem to blink away the stupid things in his eyes. 

Maybe, for the next five minutes, he can let himself be a crybaby. 

It’s not what Grayson wants, though, is it? It’s not what Damian wants-

It is what Damian wants.

There are words lodged in his throat, but he can’t quite spit them out. _I want to be-_ _I really want to be- I think I would like to be- I do know what I want to be-_ Instead of speaking, a traitorous tear drips down his face, dropping down from the bottom of his chin and straight onto his sketchbook. It breaks like a crystal, leaving a darkened mark on his sketch. 

“Wait- Little D-?” 

Damian slaps a hand over his mouth and can’t help in when he curls in on himself. His sketchbook and pencil fall to the side, paper crinkling up and bending at the odd angle it hits down at. He tries his damnedest to bite down the whimper that threatens to tear past his lips. If that makes it through, then the words will surely follow. There’s no way he can suppress the shake in his shoulders, though. 

How useless is he? Already alerting Grayson to his distress, making him worry pointlessly. If Damian were better, he’d be able to take such a stupid question in stride. 

He tenses when he feels Grayson’s arms snake around him, but that, at least, smothers those stupid shakes that wrack his body. Damian’s pulled onto Grayson’s lap only a beat later, if only so Richard can hold him tighter than probably necessary. His hands get pried off his mouth next. Grayson holds Damian’s tinier hands in his, forcing Damian to look up to see Grayson’s face.

Grayson’s icy blue eyes are wide, concerned. Any hint of a joke has been wiped from his features. 

Damian lets a sob past his lips, and those words in his throat come tumbling out. “What if I just wish to be what _ I _ want to be-?” he asks, and then curses himself for sounding so _ young _ and _ vulnerable _ and _ stupid. _

Part of him, as a trained response to stupid actions, makes him flinch the second that one of Grayson’s hands come up. Instead of pain, Grayson just sets his hand on Damian’s cheek, thumb attempting to wipe away a few tears. “What do you mean, Dami?” 

“What if I do not want to be like _ Father- _ I do not wish to be Batman just yet. Or- or what if I do not want to be like Grandfather or Mother? Father would loathe me if I were- I just-” 

Grayson pulls him in even closer, and Damian takes this as a chance to hide his face away and bite his tongue. “Who do you want to be, then, Dami?” he asks, again. 

Damian doesn’t dare utter another word. 

Grayson starts to rock him. 

He continues to cry.

Of course, when the tears start to dwindle and all Damian can think of is _ sleep, _ Grayson asks again. “You don’t have to be what someone else wants you to be, Little D- but-” He pauses, moving one of his hands up to Damian’s hair to card through it. Damian shuts his eyes tight, willing his feelings to go away. 

“It does not matter,” Damian says. “This was stupid.” 

“It’s not _ stupid,_” Grayson nearly snaps. Damian shakes again, so with a curse, Grayson hurries to apologize. “But it’s not stupid. You’re fully entitled to feel stuff, Dami. I- It’s just- I think I’d just like to know who you want to be, huh?” 

“Mother wouldn’t approve of it-” 

“Who _ cares _ what she thinks?” Grayson thunders next. “Who do _you_ want to _ be, _ Dami?” 

Damian looks Grayson straight in the eyes. “What if I just want to be _ Robin_?” he asks. “Damian-Robin. _ My _ Robin. What if-” 

The confusion in Grayson’s voice increases tenfold. “I’ve said you can be whatever you want, didn’t I? Robin is totally on the table- Isn’t it just a little boring to be for Halloween though-?”

This time, Damian gets to pipe up with confusion. “Halloween-?” 

“I was just asking what you want to be for Halloween,” Grayson says. 

And Damian just blinks. 

“What did you think I was- Did you think I was asking you what you wanted to be when you grew up?” 

Color fills Damian’s cheeks as he flushes, embarrassment crawling up all the way to his ears. Of course he’d be stupid enough to perceive a question of a foolish childish holiday to something a hell of a lot more- he took it and ran, forming it into a goddamn existential _ crisis. _Now he’s made a damn fool of himself in front of Grayson- complete with a teary fit. Can he even live this down, now? Who else, in the history of the world, has done something so-

He curses himself when more tears pop up. 

“_Dami- _You don't have to know what you want to be just yet, okay?” 

He can't quite force out an _okay_. 

He _does_ get a hug for his troubles. 

(And when Halloween comes by, Damian goes out as Robin Hood. It feels great, when he comes home with a basket full of candy. He doesn’t eat it, though, he’s never had a sweet tooth. Instead, he gives it to his brothers, and then they all play Robin Hood with him. 

He never knew how fun shooting his father in the back with a nerf bow would be.) 

**Author's Note:**

> lol happy halloween love y'all
> 
> my tumblr: [potato-reblob](https://potato-reblob.tumblr.com/)


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